All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
