i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
