If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
