His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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