he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
