you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
