He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
