Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
