Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
