moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
there is glitter all over my balls
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
