I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
