Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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