She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
