I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
