I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
