this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
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