Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
