yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
