Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
