Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
