Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
