Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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