I bet he comes in French.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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