Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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