So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
