I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
