Whats the glycemic index on semen?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
