next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
