marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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