Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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