There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
