I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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