It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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