your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
