One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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