he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
