Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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