I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
