At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
