Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My vagina is very pro this idea
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
