Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
not ubering you a puppy
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
