why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It's blow job season.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
