is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
