it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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