I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
