your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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