Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
