just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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