Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
