distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
