So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
